Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
