I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
