well most of my day revolves around power hour
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize