Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
