I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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