why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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