they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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