Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize