If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
