So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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