careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
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