its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
