Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
