I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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