you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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