I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
