i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
