we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize