Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
