Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
We named our party play list daddy issues
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
