What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
