Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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