i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
When did angry sex become our thing?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
