I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just threw up on my dentist
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
smell my finger.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize
