I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
