ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Congratulations! We have a period
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
