It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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