And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
