Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
