Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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