Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
