Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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