then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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