Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
