Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
