Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I think my vagina is haunted
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize