He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
