You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
