i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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