Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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