6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Randomize
