She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
