Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
