i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
