i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
