I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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