Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
