It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
