She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
