We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
