So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
We need to rekindle our bromance
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
