So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
