Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize