He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
