Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
