perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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