i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
