come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
