is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
