i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
We don't watch enough power rangers
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
