Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
