i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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