its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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